**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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