i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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