Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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