I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
