I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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