dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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