You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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