Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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