I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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