I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
