I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
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I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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