My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I bet he comes in French.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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