Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
