Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
