i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
