Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
