you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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