before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
