sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
