You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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