Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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