when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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