Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
