it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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