I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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