video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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