Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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