I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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