Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
