Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
