this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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