you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
