you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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