My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
