i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
