I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
