Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
