God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
