can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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