i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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