Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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