We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
