You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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