dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
