cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize