your parents love me but you hate me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize