Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
