woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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