What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
