Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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