he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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