My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize