dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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