Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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