So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
