My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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