like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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