dude i'm inner monologue high
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
