i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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